About three years ago, my classic neighbor happened to see me at work when they were shopping for a 32” flat screen television set.
For one, I don’t like my neighbor. For two, I don’t think she likes me either. Just to be civilized (as expected of me) I waved at her and she nodded. They lingered for quite some while then realizing that there was nothing there for them, as our book shop sells books, they left.
As expected, my neighbor waited for me to arrive that night, and just as I opened the gate very quietly, she looked up, saw me from across the street and yelled at me to come over, I did. I asked her if they found any of their liking at the mall. She said yes then ranted about the new and expensive television set that she just bought. So, I was all smiles and looking for a chance to a graceful exit.
When I thought she was done talking, I stepped back to let her know that I was dying about to go. I said ‘ok then, I’ll go ahead..’ then quickly turned around just in time to hear her say
‘Hey! Why is it that you look much much older when you’re at work?’
I stopped, looked over my shoulder with a fixed smile on my face and said..
‘… must be the eyeglasses’
I started to walk forward and was halfway across the street to the gate of my house when she said loudly, as in loud enough for me and the other neighbors to hear..
‘.. you look fat in your office clothes’
I waited until I was at my the door and answered..
‘.. must be the blazer’ then quickly got inside my house.